Waiting For The Silver Lining

I’ve never smelt death. I’ve never been to a distant country (Malaysia is oh so not, distant), I’ve never been on a plane and I most certainly have never experienced Mother Nature’s rage.

I have, however, seen a water hurricane upclose, and that ladies and gentlemen, is my closest encounter with the destructive power of nature. I remember being all excited about going to Outward Bound School at Pulau Ubin. I was 15 then and I love nature. It was the 3rd day of our camping trip and we were unpacking our bags and setting up tents. We were right by the beach. Then it started to rain. See, I love the rain and I didn’t mind it a bit. Everybody else was running for shelter and my best friend and I were laughing, enjoying the rain when my instructor started pulling us towards the shelter.

It was then that I saw it: the waters right in the middle of the sea was circling very fast. There was a faint mist surrounding the whirl. The wind was so strong I could actually hear it whistle. Then the waters started rising, reaching up to the sky. Somehow, right before my eyes, stood a small water hurricane. I was amazed. I was so excited; my instructor had to restrain me from getting closer. It was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.

The tsunami that ravaged Thailand, Indonesia, India, Sri Lanka, Maldives and part of Africa is far from that.

Like everyone else, I feel for the victims. But I can never truly say that I understand how they feel, because I’m not in their situation.

I remember reading an article about an Indonesian woman who was stranded in the Indian Ocean. The currents pulled her into the middle of the sea and all she had to hold on to was a small plank. Her clothes were torn because of little fishes that kept biting her. It didn’t help that the Indian Ocean is shark-infested. She was giving up hope and was prepared to die. She started praying, calling out Allah’s name a couple of times. A few moments later, miraculously, a tree with fruits drifted up to her. And that’s how she survived; by eating the fruits and bark of the tree. A fishing boat found her later and she was saved.

True stories like that make my eyes tear. I cried while watching the news.

I have a friend who cried while watching Mighty Joe Young and Finding Nemo, and Brother Bear, and Sweet Home Alabama, and Lion King. She used to be the butt of jokes because of her very emotional streak. We were chatting over dinner the other day when the subject of God came up. Both of us don’t fit the description of pious Muslims though I’d like to think that I have a good relationship with Him. Anyway, we were asking ourselves why He did what He did and what wrongs we could have done. I know that we shouldn’t question His actions or object to what He has bestowed upon us, but sometimes, curiosity just comes tickling our brains.

I’m sure He has His reasons. As clichéd as this may sound, there is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud. I just hope we find that silver lining soon.

Death has been on my mind these days (what with all the pictures of corpses always shown in the news). It’s in my dreams, in my thoughts, around the corner from where I’m sitting… It’s everywhere. It’s always been around. But it’s when you see death happening so suddenly to other people, then you’ll realise that it’s closer than you think.

I wonder when my time will be up. No, I’m not depressed, neither am I going to take my life. Sometimes I just think too much about God and death I just have to write it down somewhere.

When death comes knocking, you remember God the most, no?

In year 1, my friends and I, being angst-ridden bratty young adults, used to complain about our lives being such a mess, how we didn’t have enough money and how our parents are driving us crazy with their nagging. Screams of anguish and constants shouts of: “I can’t take it!” (And many more bimbotic phrases like that) were often heard. How ignorant we must have appeared to others then.

It was a surprise to me then, when my friends started SMSing me (and everyone they know), urging me to donate and help the tsunami victims. I didn’t realise how mature we had become and how we’re no longer so selfish.

Amid all the suffering, tears, losses and the atrocity of the disaster, humanity shone through like a knight in shining armor. The world got together and helped each other instead of fighting with each other.

Maybe that’s what He’s trying to teach us all along. We’ll never know.

Nadiah Yusoff
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